Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
