Duck Duck Cougar?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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