Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I CAN MOONWALK!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
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He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
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Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.