none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?