Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"

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  (313): Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!! (1-313): "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore" http://tfl.nu/6kn3
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.

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  (971): I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one. http://tfl.nu/nv72
  Replies (17) Good night (3676) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.

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  (336): Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me. http://tfl.nu/79qg
  Replies (57) Good night (4502) Bad night (1121)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.

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  (407): Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/dv8x
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  (714): View more from California

  thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.

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  (714): thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him. http://tfl.nu/1l2e
  Replies (31) Good night (1051) Bad night (5578) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.

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  (831): i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse. http://tfl.nu/jxr4
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast

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  (609): i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast http://tfl.nu/q9sr
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  (716): View more from New York

  If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.

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  (716): If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex. http://tfl.nu/vi35
  Replies (13) Good night (4173) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there

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  (646): All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there http://tfl.nu/jsjn
  Replies (12) Good night (4098) Bad night (1311) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.

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  (217): Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/w6yk
  Replies (6) Good night (2029) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.

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  (814): I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that. http://tfl.nu/oxuc
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  (909): View more from California

  Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?

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  (909): Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs? http://tfl.nu/7n3l
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.

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  (906): Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work. http://tfl.nu/815e
  Replies (13) Good night (932) Bad night (2691) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere

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  (914): Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere http://tfl.nu/1kh6
  Replies (3) Good night (1155) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.

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  (925): also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/lamp
  Replies (6) Good night (997) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt

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