its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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