Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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