please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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