So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
