the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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