at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
