Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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