Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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