And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
