Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
