Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
