Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You smell like stripper and shame
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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