just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
