I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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