Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
how does that bad decision feel?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
is it fun? or sober?
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