HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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