Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
