as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
