I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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