Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
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I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
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I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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