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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment

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• (305): View more from Florida

  No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight

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• (510): View more from California

  You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (415): View more from California

  Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder

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• (820): View more from

  Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Me and I got head

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