Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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