Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"