Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed

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(651): View more from Minnesota

whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class

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(254): View more from Texas

...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.

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(765): View more from Indiana

My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic

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(773): View more from Illinois

How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?

(224): View more from Illinois

THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.

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