I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
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Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
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When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.