Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  True life - we need to smoke together more often

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  (516): Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters. (1-516): True life - we need to smoke together more often http://tfl.nu/s2bm
  Replies (8) Good night (4038) Bad night (686)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.

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  (812): If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/nzcw
  Replies (31) Good night (5656) Bad night (1046)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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  (215): She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz" (267): So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning. (215): Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again. http://tfl.nu/rcrj
  Replies (28) Good night (726) Bad night (3209)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.

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  (785): Mines from giving head on hardwood floors. http://tfl.nu/x8b4
  Replies (25) Good night (3317) Bad night (976)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen

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  (815): I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen http://tfl.nu/dsay
  Replies (27) Good night (2525) Bad night (2460)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.

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  (440): i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends. http://tfl.nu/xfyh
  Replies (12) Good night (925) Bad night (4168)
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  (607): View more from New York

  i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?

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  (607): i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life? http://tfl.nu/2cyx
  Replies (27) Good night (1047) Bad night (5210)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?

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  (817): how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut? http://tfl.nu/0rrw
  Replies (39) Good night (8510) Bad night (1185)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.

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  (612): Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now. http://tfl.nu/5ad5
  Replies (15) Good night (3987) Bad night (1103)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.

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  (617): I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent. http://tfl.nu/742m
  Replies (10) Good night (1499) Bad night (2362)
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  (646): View more from New York

  why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?

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  (646): why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night? http://tfl.nu/e1cc
  Replies (9) Good night (1631) Bad night (851)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples

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  (401): Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples http://tfl.nu/s1gx
  Replies (2) Good night (1584) Bad night (552)
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  (209): View more from California

  His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.

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  (209): His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fo7
  Replies (9) Good night (1480) Bad night (666)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Did you cry?

  (518): View more from New York

  I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation

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  (480): Did you cry? (518): I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though (480): Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation http://tfl.nu/6o5r
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (511)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle

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  (832): I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle http://tfl.nu/p7zs
  Replies (0) Good night (717) Bad night (349)

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