How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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