weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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