my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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