haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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