i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
