Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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