she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Terrible idea I love it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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