I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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