i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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