Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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