Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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