Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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