so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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