why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You took a bar mat shot.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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