Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize