Will you blow on my dice?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
