Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
