I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
