Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
