Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
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she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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