Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
