she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize