we're blogging at a bar
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
