whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
