What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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