i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
