Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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