I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
