her vagine was all disorganized.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
