Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
