I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
