i think my tv is drunk
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
